What to Feel
2004-12-29,

I've been having a hard time knowing what to feel this week. Had such a good last week, and I'm having trouble being happy about it.

It's the multiple tsunami that destroyed so many lives, so many places. It's likely that the toll will be up over 100,000 in the next week or two, probably to be added to for months as people... wash up, and when the missing are no longer considered missing anymore. It's horrific, and I'm having trouble absorbing it. I'm sure that I can attribute some of that just to the distance, to only hearing about it on the radio and reading news reports (I generally don't watch TV news). But... it's just more than one person can possibly take in. Entire towns leveled, ships destroyed, an overfull train knocked over like a toy... I don't know. I've already insisted to H that we send something to one of the humanitarian orgs that are trying to handle the situation and care for the few survivors and the innumerable displaced. She readily agreed, of course.

I realise that I can't just sit all day and grieve the loss. But it seems to be sucking the joy out of everything, for me at least. I don't want to shut out, but I don't want it to overwhelm me, either. If only I still had my Manual of Human Existence to lend me a clue to the proper etiquette.

-- End Transmission --