These Dreams
2004-12-08,

Here's my answer to the following question, posted by a friend in a message group:

Do I really and truly have to let these dreams go? Will I really *never* do any or all of the things that I have and do still dream about? Do I still need to have a fantasy life? If so, how much does it have to change as I change? Do I have to let some of them wither and die? Does the death of a dream mean a part of me is dead? How important are our dreams?

I don�t think that any dreams have to be given up. I mean, I suppose it depends on what kind of dreams you might be talking about. My dreams have been either pretty pragmatic or so outlandish that they never bore any kind of realistic chance of happening. Complete understanding of the universe? Unless I somehow manage to end up in Nirvana (no, not the band, silly), it's not happening. And don't think that doesn't make me mad, the knowing that I'm probably not going to know.

But there's really no reason to give up on dreams. A lot of things are still possible, if you decided to apply yourself. Rock God? It could still happen. Go pick up that guitar and start playin' like the dickens til you get somewhere. Luckily I never really dreamed of being an astronaut, so that makes things easier.

With age, though, following a dream gets harder. Life solidifies around you, and heading in a new direction can mean breaking things up. That can be traumatic you yourself and those around you, but may not always be a bad thing in the end. It does make it tougher to make that decision to swing the mallet of change and break up that floe, but sometimes what must be done, must be done- that or enjoy what you've been dealt. Study Shiva and become one with change.

I think that one of the things I love about acting so much is that, for a little while at least, you /can/ be a rock god or an astronaut. Being something or pretending to be something: when you boil it down, is there much of a difference? Ask Mr. Quixote about that. What some call madness, others might call a rollicking good time. Seriously, if I abandoned all of my dreams into impossibility, I would be one boring-ass person. And there are always new dreams being born from life and experience- new desires, new goals. I reckon one dream can get replaced with another, or take more of a precedent.

Conversely, some things that you thought would be reality end up only being a dream, though maybe not quite in the same sense. I had to give up on the possibility of having a biological child, but the dream of that child I'm not having will live on in my dreams until I can dream no more. Maybe that will change when our future adoptee comes into our lives; time will tell.

-- End Transmission --