Anime Style
2004-11-02,

Already done my civic - and planet-saving - duty, as of 730am this morning. I got to the polling station 15 minutes after they opened, thinking it'd be a quick in-and-out on the way to work, especially in the sleepy town of Medina.

Nonesuch.

I moved into the line behind what must have been a good 75 people, lining well outside the building. Luckily the precipitation was only at a light drizzle and the umbrella I'd left at home went basically unmissed. I had my chai and I was happy enough with that. Had a chat with the folks to either side of me, one of which was a local judge, who was "glad [he wasn't] running this year." Pondering the length of the line, he jokingly wondered whether he was at the right polling station. My little provisional ballot joke provoked a laugh, which raised, in my view, the percent chance that he was voting Democrat. Either that or he was truly evil and was snickering to himself while thinking about all of the minority voters that are going to be screwed over in Ohio this time 'round. He didn't seem the sinister type, however.

After a good 50 minutes in line, it was my turn. All senses turned on full blast when my voting card number was confused by one of the poll workers and almost miswritten on the registry, which would have more than likely invalidated my vote. I wasn't going to leave that spot until I knew for sure it was corrected, but luckily it was caught quickly and all was well. Makes me wish I'd volunteered to work a polling station this year.

So I get my punch card device and head over to one of the super-private booths. It was at this point that I'd wished that I could vote Anime style. In my head:

I took a few steps back from the booth, assumed a manly, intense stance and began to accumulate power. A low hum rose in the crowded room, and I began to glow with collected energy. The hum grew louder, and small objects began to float in the air, carried on a growing wave of power. The ground began to shake as I crouched, a tightly coiled spring. My eyes turned white, radiating intensity, as I yelled something in Japanese that described the maneuver I was about to do. Then, with fists clenched tightly around the card-punching prod thingy, I leaped catlike into the air, double-flipped, then, with every ounce of strength and energy I could muster, slammed the prod thingy into place next to 'Kerry/Edwards'. There was, of course, a panning triple-take of my final maneuver, highlighting the intensity and determination. The burst of energy from the vote lay flat most of the block, yet everyone there was unharmed. Unconscious, I was carried as a hero to my car, where I then recovered and drove happily to work.

It's too bad I didn't feel like taking this election seriously.

-- End Transmission --