Gotcha Was A Movie
2006-07-10, 14:56

Truly, some of Anthony Edwards' finest work.

I could be wrong, but I do believe the surf is up.

One year ago today, fifteen families waiting in a Jiangxi hotel meeting room increased by one person. Each family met, for the first time, a little girl, of whom they were now suddenly in charge. Each family displayed signs of worry, excitement and nervousness, while the little girls displayed fear and confusion, with a hint of curiosity. One little girl in particular, wavered between a mournful, horse wail and dark-eyed stares of intent, anxious inquisitiveness. She was only hours away from realizing that she belonged with us. Prepared as we were for a long period of remorse and distance, we received almost none. It was as if she'd been waiting for just us, and it just took her a little while to realize that we were the ones she was looking for.

It took me a little longer to realize that this little girl was, all along, the one that I'd wished for, the one I carried in my secret heart. My fathering a child genetically was not to be, but this girl, surely, was meant for me, for us. I sometimes think that she is more than I truly deserve, whether we will as parents manage to her justice. She is full of mischief, strength, intelligence, beauty, humor, spirit and curiosity. And she can be really freaking loud, and jealous, and showy, and shy, and gentle, and a brute. She loves to be upside down, and she's already doing somersaults and climbing wrung ladders. And she already shows signs of life wisdom: one of my favorite things that she does is, when she swings at the park, she throws her head back, eyes closed, smiling, just feeling the act of swinging. She already has an idea of how to Just Be, and I will do everything in my power to help her keep from losing that.

This has been one fast, intense and emotional year in a great many ways, both good and ill. It has, per my norm, been a trial by fire. I know that there are other emotional times ahead, with helping her to intellectually and emotionally process her birth status, helping her deal with the closed-minded about her nationality, not to mention helping her deal with girlhood in general. But for now, she is a precious gift that enriches me, our family, every day, and I thank fate and the powers that be and that Wishing Star for bringing her to us.

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