Another May Dodged
2006-06-01, 16:21

Whew! Another May successfully navigated. I can't say that everyone I know was lucky enough to dodge the month's employment scythe, however. Sorry, duffiemoon. Angel of Unemployment, thy name is May. I wonder if I'll ever feel safe during that month ever again. Maybe when (if) I (can) retire.

Speaking of work, I was getting my testing groove on this morning and overheard a conversation in the hall; someone said, "When the days start to seem like they're flying by, that means you're getting old." Phooey on that, phooey! I don't believe a second of it. I mean, sure, life seemed to take longer when I was little, but I don't think it has anything to do with age, per se. I think it has more to do with brain use. Our experience in China last summer was proof enough for me. While we were there, days seemed incredibly long, mainly, I think, due to the fact that we were constantly On - viewing, mentally recording, absorbing everything around us. Everything was new in some way, and there was little down time. We were spending every second of our day Living and Being, instead of just getting by, living for the weekend. When life becomes a series of repetitions, doing the same things day in and day out, the brain has no reason to be active, and entire chunks of day don't merit mental record. Thus, days seem shorter on recall, and time seems to whoosh by.

I'm all too familiar with the sensation, the whoosh of time. I'm probably experiencing it right this second, save for the trickle of input/output coming from writing. Sometimes I lose my sense of weekly/monthly time, and my perspective on when things happened gets fuzzy. My past is pretty elastic, which is no good for someone who doesn't have a great memory to begin with. Usually I end up infuriating H with my lack of solidity on when things occur, both forward and backward. I'm having a crappy time keeping future events straight in my head. Tomorrow? Three months from now? It's all the same to me.

I don't intend to say that my life is wholly devoid of interest or meaning, currently. I live for my family. It makes me feel like I'm in a rush to get home every day. I get my share of headaches, back talk and lost sleep, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I just wish there was more time for them. Stupid work. I really, really need to find that niche that lets me not have to have a job anymore. Here it comes. Any time now. Hmph.

-- End Transmission --