I Hear The Secrets That You Keep
2006-02-16, 16:32

This morning I got a call back from a sleep center I left a message with yesterday, and I scheduled myself a consult. With all the lack of sleep due to stress and baby teething over the last couple of months, the apnea effect has been particularly bad. It's put a real strain on me and, therefore, everything around me. I sometimes don't even really feel awake at work until around 10am, and that's after getting here at 730am. Not good. It's not been like this since I was in high school, when the apnea really kicked in full force. Dang hormones.

It's inherited; my dad's like this, too. I honestly can't imagine why he himself hasn't looked into getting it taken care of. Probably for the same reason I didn't: stubbornness. Or apathy. Or fear. Maybe a combination. Perhaps, after I run the gambit of this process, I can convince him to do the same. I understand that breathing while you're asleep has its benefits.

My biggest concern is that I'm going to have to end up wearing some sort of Contraption while I sleep, something that keeps positive air pressure in my throat to keep it open. Ack. While the sound of whatever it is will probably make soothing white noise, I can't imagine feeling in any way comfortable with a Contraption strapped to my head. I can hear H in the back of my head, saying, "You're going to wear it anyway, dammit, so we can both sleep!" Yes, I know dear. But it won't be easy. I'm not exactly the type who likes to wear things to bed. Accoutrements in general aren't my strong point; the only thing I've been able to wear other than clothes on a consistent basis is my wedding ring, which, fortunately, feels like an extension of me. I'm sure I could get used to having a machine latched onto my noggin, especially if it means me getting real sleep for the first time since I was in my early teens.

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