M�chten Sie meinen Specht sehen?
2005-04-01,

This will most likely be my last transmission before I traverse a quarter of the globe and trek into Germany. It's been a busy week, finishing up things here at work and getting things prepped for taking with me to the German factory. Without boring you completely to death on the topic (too late), I'm testing stuff there on their more sophisticated machine, basically to see if what we're using here is worth a crap. It's not going to be too intensive, other than trying to force my ear to adapt to a constant barrage of heavily accented and limited English and try and keep my mind on what I'm doing at the same time. I dunno if I've mentioned this, but for some reason I'm terrible with other languages when I'm hearing it. Sure, I can pick up the tone and structure of what's being said, but my comprehension is feeble at best. Heck, I have a problem with English sometimes when hearing it, let alone other languages. I think the main problem is that I hear things as music, not as language, if that makes any sense. I can copy an accent like nobody's business, and even make foreign-sounding noises that an unknowing person might think was language, but actually saying something? It's sad. Pathetic and sad (but social).

So like I said, I'm tying up ends here to compensate for not being here for a week. Really, it's comforting to know that I actually have some ends to tie up-- being able to leave and not be missed equals being expendable. I don't want some expendable, thanks.

In less than two days, I'll be stumbling jet-lag'dly through Aichach, Germany, which is smack dab in the heart of the Black Forest. Aichach is a small town of about 20,000 and, from the pictures I've seen so far, cute as a (very old) damn button. The hotel where I'm staying was established in the 1600's, if that tells you anything. It's the Gasthof Specht, which, translated, is the Hotel Woodpecker. You know, maybe I've watched one too many WW II movies, or maybe it's just an American idiot conceit, buy I have a hard time saying anything in German without sounding terse or downright angry. Gasthof Specht! Schnell! Stupid, I know. Working here and hearing actual humans speaking the language at a normal human level has helped to abate this problem at least a little. Even so, I'm not planning on attempting any German much past "Danke" and "Ein bier, bitte."

Sadly, it doesn't look like there's going to be any internet access in yonder small town, so updating on my European antics will have to wait until next weekend, as I'm not getting home until Thursday night and my Friday is pretty much already booked. Ack. Did I mention that I have an ISO 9000 seminar Friday morning after I get back? I'm sure I won't fall asleep during that funfest.

It's official, I hate April Fool's Day. And only as of about 30 minutes ago.

The woman here at work that's in charge of arranging flights and hotels and such for company travelers came to my office this morning looking concerned. First she asked me if my passport was all okay for the trip, then she took a hushed tone and said, "I'm not sure what to do here-- I just got off the phone with Homeland Security, and they were asking about you." Ack! She was then hinting that I might need to go to Cleveland to get things cleared up, and I was all, "Geez, I've already been cleared by the INS for going to China, what the heck?!" And then she dropped the Fool bomb on me. All just a joke, ha ha. If she weren't such a nice person I would have considered strangling her. I even managed to smile about it after my heart stopped racing. Doesn't she know that I Have Enough Stress Already And I Have No Sense Of Humor ABOUT ANYTHING RELATING TO THE ADOPTION PROCESS THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Again, ack. I'm sure it'll be much funnier when I tell the story to H.

Alright, it's almost time for me to initiate Phase Two of the day, wherein I go with H and the Cub Scouts to NASA Glenn (Lewis, damn it) Research Center for a geek outing. Wish me luck on the trip, and I'll try and bring an ugly stein back for you.

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