Essay Test
2004-04-05,

Today I began working on my Home Study homework from my last meeting a week ago. I need to answer a series of questions by next Monday, and I�m finding that it�s going to be a touch more involved that I�d expected. I hadn�t really looked at the questions until today, and I�m glad I did; this isn�t something I would have wanted to cram in right before going.

These questions are pretty typical of the Home Study process so far: invasive, personal and aggravating. And I get to discuss this stuff with an almost perfect stranger. It�s so keen. Granted, I�ve been gaining some insight on some things about myself that I hadn�t put into words up until now, but I�m not enjoying the fact that it�s being forced on me by a bloated, over-controlled system. I understand the need to weed out the slave-traders and pervs, but still... it seems a little much. I once again wish this on all you prospective or current biological parents out there that don�t have to think twice about what kind of parent they�re going to be.

To give you a small idea of what I�m talking about, I�ve decided to present unto you the questions listed in my take-home. Feel free to mull them over at your leisure. Even answer them, if you wish. Better yet, send them to me! Tell me what kind of parent you think you are. A decent response might even tempt me to post my own answers at a later date.

Home Study Questions

Q1: Discuss evidence of your personal and emotional maturity. Give examples of your ability or inability to delay gratification. Describe instances in which you may have felt unappreciated. How did you react? Are you able to realistically identify your own strengths and vulnerabilities?

Q2: Describe your stability and quality of interpersonal relationships. Give examples of your strengths and vulnerabilities in this area. Is stability reflected in your family history and current relationships? Do you have long term or close friends, or primarily remain to yourself, with �associates� rather than friends?

Q3: Describe your coping skills and history of stress management. Include a description and examples of how you handle grief and loss. Are you able to see humor in stressful situations? Are you flexible? Do you usually have a back-up plan? When confronted with an �impossible� task, do you: dig in and work harder? ignore the situation? ask for help?

Q4: Describe the level of openness you have in your relationships. Describe boundary issues as well as general openness or rigidity to new ideas or accepting help. Are you able to make shifts in role definition when required? Do you acknowledge and appreciate individual differences between people?

Q5: Discuss your parenting skills and abilities. Describe the nature and extent of previous experience with child supervision and parenting. Do you enjoy parenting activities? What about parenting gives you satisfaction? Describe your knowledge of various parenting skills/techniques and your history of practical application of these. Describe your ability to help children develop positive self-esteem.

Q6: Discuss your empathy and perspective taking ability. Give examples of instances where this has been a strength or caused problems in your life. Discuss your ability to correctly interpret verbal, non-verbal ad behavioral cues. Describe your ability to verbalize what another person is feeling. Are you able to visualize yourself in the child�s or birth parent�s place? Describe how that feels.

Q7: Discuss evidence of your understanding of entitlement issues and roles. Do you understand how entitlement issues impact foster and adoptive families? Are you able to verbalize your feelings about parenting �another person�s birth child?� Describe your ability to internalize their rights and responsibilities (limited in foster care but entire in adoption).

Q8: Discuss your ability and willingness to take a �hands on� approach to parenting. Cite evidence that you will or will not be able to model (vs. instruct) appropriate behaviors for your child. Can you use concrete behavioral management techniques as well as strategies of a more cognitive nature? Can you do �time-in� with the child rather than having the child do �time-out�?

Q9: Discuss evidence of your ability to make and honor commitments. Give examples of your ability or inability to maintain long-term relationships and to keep promises/commitments even when your quality of life may seem adversely affected. Are you able to realistically anticipate a child�s future needs and problems? Are you capable of meeting long term needs of children in your care? Are you willing to continue the parenting role into your child�s adulthood if necessary?

Meanwhile, our bathroom sink is giving us trouble. We were going to replace the faucet and fixtures yesterday, and found that the sink itself is deteriorating too much to prove retainable. Which sucks, because it�s an old sink and we�re having trouble pinning down a replacement. Seems that 20x18 rectangular lav sinks aren�t all that popular anymore. Go figure. But hunt on we will; either that or chop up our current countertop and use something else entirely. Which would really suck. Thus is the life of the homeowner.

Please note the addition of the Notify List, below. Those who are avid readers of mine may find this a convenience.

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